sleepingI had no idea how hard the first couple of weeks would be with my new baby.  I had no idea the number of sleepless nights I would get, and I really didn’t expect those sleepless nights to happen while I was still in the hospital.

I have never in my life been more tired than the day we brought our daughter home.

I almost wish I had a picture of myself from that day just to see if I looked as tired as I remember feeling.

When we got home, my younger sister stayed with us for the next 4 nights.  The poor thing let us sleep through the night and deprived herself of rest just to let us catch up.

I am forever in her debt.

My daughter is now 4 months old and we are so lucky.  She’s sleeping somewhere between 7 – 10 hours a night. It’s amazing, it’s great.

All I want to do is fucking sleep.  Even now.

Between running her to the babysitter, working all day and then coming home and spending as much time with her and my fiance as I can it feels like I am always running on empty.

I look back at my life before my daughter was born and I can’t help but wonder what I did with all of that time I had on my hands.  All of the TV shows and movies I watched for hours.  Hanging out with friends and family or jumping in the car for a weekend getaway or just a quick trip to the store!

That doesn’t happen anymore. There is just not enough time in the day.

Going anywhere is a process.  Packing up everything she needs, diapers, wipes, change of clothes, a bottle.  And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten my purse in the house or almost locked myself out because my car keys are somewhere ridiculous like on her changing table.

I hope it gets easier, but I have a feeling once she starts moving it’s only going to get worse.  The rules will change again.

Let the fun begin!  Maybe I’ll sleep again some day.