Guilty. Yep. Guilty as charged. Sometimes I miss the old days, those somewhat carefree days where I didn’t have someone’s well being in my hands. You remember those days, right? I do, they’re a bit foggy, but, man, I took those days for granted!!!
As a first time mom, there’s a lot of things I’m getting used to, and sometimes I ask myself, “do I have what it takes to be a MOM?”.
I know, a little late in the game to be asking myself this, but on those particularly stressful days this question just pops into my mind. Along with:
• I just want to sleep! I love sleep and now I get at least 4 or 5 hours of sleep at night, if I’m lucky. Usually this only happened when I stayed up late watching a movie.
• Why does HE get to sleep but I can’t?! I admit it, sometimes I get seriously annoyed when I’m in bed, laying there like a pretzel so baby is comfortable, and when I look over at my husband, he’s sound asleep, comfortably tucked in.
• Enough cartoons! I love horror movies! Now a certain mouse is usually prancing around on my television screen.
• I want to eat! Baby comes first, so I could be starving but she’s my first priority, so I have to ignore the rumble in my stomach.
• I want to go out! Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I DO go out sometimes, but it’s a mega production requiring planning, many bags, etc.
• I could live without being thrown up on. Enough said.
• I could also live without being peed on or pooped on. Again, enough said.
• Can you please not bite my boob?! Baby is getting her first tooth…pain…
• I want to take a long shower! I’ve mastered the art of showering in 5 to 10 minutes. 15 if I have to wash my hair. Go me.
• I’m sick, can I just stay in bed? Nope. Mommies don’t get sick days.
• Am I doing a good job? This one takes the cake.
The list goes on, and sometimes I’ve found myself ignoring the urge to cry. Being a mom is not easy, it’s a LOT of pressure and a LOT of worry. But, you know what? It’s also beautiful and rewarding and I wouldn’t have it any other way!!! I’m absolutely in love with my daugher, she’s the greatest gift. So, I tell you this: vent if you need to. Cry if you need to. Do anything you need to do to keep yourself, well, sane. We’re human, it’s OK to need some space to breathe! DON’T feel guilty about it!
Time flies, so enjoy your baby and don’t worry about if you’re doing a good job. You ARE. Be proud.