I know that you’re currently cussing at me under your breath and you’re already thinking that this is click bait. Well, of course, I want you to click, but I promise you, there is nothing click bait about it. I want you to look at yourself. Dig deep. And think about the last time you took a guilt-free break, even just for a few hours or took a shower without rushing just in case. Or maybe it’s even having a few sips of coffee in peace and quiet while it’s still warm.
Now it’s time for me to tell you the hard truth. Get out of your own damn way.
I say that knowing full well what it’s like. I was there. I was you. For two long years, I took 3-minute showers, I spent endless days in the house with my children. Hell, by the time I applied makeup to my face after having my first child I’m pretty sure it was out of date. I had mom guilt, bad. I couldn’t breathe without thinking of my kids. I couldn’t buy anything for myself or do anything for myself because I felt it was taking away from them.
There was that fog. That fog that set its nasty claws on me the moment my daughter was born and wouldn’t let go. Until it did and I could finally see. I was miserable. I was the worst part of me. I was making every relationship I had difficult because I couldn’t see past the guilt. My husband and I were a shadow of what we once were. My children were seeing me at my wits end. I would go off for no reason, I would burst out in tears because the toilet paper roll wasn’t put on the right way, or wasn’t put on at all. I would lose it, just lose it because I had lost it.
I had lost me.
I wasn’t a person anymore. I was a mom. That’s all I was. I couldn’t see past it, I couldn’t get past it for a long time.
Then one day I was scrolling through pictures and I came across a few selfies I had taken of myself when my daughter was first born.
I had my ah-ha moment. I remember looking at those pictures and thinking “who is that?” “Is that really me?” “Where did that girl go?”
I looked at those pictures and saw a beautiful woman. I looked in the mirror now and I saw a shadow of my former self. I hadn’t showered in days, my hair was in a bun and I wasn’t sure if I took out the holder if it would even move. I was wearing a tee and sweats. I was disgusting. I had gotten in my own damn way for long enough.
So I put the kids down for a nap, I got in the shower, I cut my hair and blow dried it. I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually used my blow dryer. I put on makeup and I put on jeans.
I sat down and I felt like a person again. It had only taken about 30 minutes, but it was all I needed to feel like a real person again.
So I urge you mama, take 30 minutes and give yourself some time to be the old you again. It is not only invigorating and gives you a new outlook on things, but you seriously deserve it.