Years ago I learned that my best friend might not be able to have children. She is one of those people who wanted children so badly. Her and her husband tried quite a few times, but it just didn’t happen. So I told her I would be her surrogate. I just wanted her to be able to have the child she wanted. If you want to be a surrogate, here are 4 things you need to know.
1. Know there is a difference between gestational and traditional surrogates.*
Traditional surrogacy involves your own egg and genetic contribution to the child. Gestational surrogacy is when a fertilized egg is used.
2. There are surrogacy laws. Know them.*
They apply for the state that the surrogate resides in. It’s important that the surrogate delivers in a state where the intended parents’ and surrogate’s legal rights are protected. Some of the best states for this legal protection include Illinois, Florida, California, Nevada, Arkansas and Connecticut. Some of the less surrogacy-friendly states include New York, Michigan, Washington and Nebraska.
3. The journey is a group effort.
It doesn’t just affect the surrogate, but the surrogates family and people close to them. It also affects the family or person using the surrogate. Most likely, as in my case (would have been) it would have been for a close friend. We would have been there for each other. To support each other the whole way. All families involved would have been supportive and it would end up being an experience that would have made us even closer friends.
4. It will be hard.
After having my baby I couldn’t have imagined giving her up, even to someone I know and was close to. However, if you’re a surrogate, you know what’s going on up front. You can prepare yourself for what’s going to happen and know that your family and theirs will be better off for it and happier.
I never was a surrogate for my friend, she actually just announced to me a few weeks ago that she is pregnant! And I couldn’t be happier for her.
*These tips come from Staci Swiderski, Co-Founder of Family Source Consultants.
About Family Source Consultants
Family Source Consultants is one of North America’s leading surrogacy agencies, with offices in Illinois (Hinsdale and River North in Chicago) and Florida (Cape Coral). When matching and facilitating gestational surrogacy and egg donation arrangements, Family Source Consultants work with traditional, gay or lesbian couples and individuals of all races, religious and ethnic backgrounds.